


to see the world in a grain of sand

by jaimeslannister



Category: Secret History - Donna Tartt
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimeslannister/pseuds/jaimeslannister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the great enigma, camilla macaulay, seen through the eyes of the greek class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to see the world in a grain of sand

when camilla looks into the mirror, she commends herself. she hasn’t worried herself too much over being desirable, and yet, she knows that the boys in the class, even (especially) charles, all save pictures of her in their minds for later. the new boy, richard, is the easiest to read of them all. of course, this makes him the easiest plaything – but hardly the most fun. the so dedicatedly cerebral henry is the lucky recipient of that prize. 

 

when henry looks at camilla, he sees her as if she is cut from marble. the statues of aphrodite herself are shaped in her likeness, and hera shrinks back in fear of her power. he doesn’t have to wonder if she knows all this, if she knows that he thinks about her like this – it’s easy enough to see in the way that she looks right back at him. 

 

when bunny looks at camilla, his fists curl up and his pants get tighter. like most things in the greek class, he just doesn’t understand her, or why she won’t get over herself and climb into his bed. if she’ll sleep with her own goddamn brother and not him , there must be something really wrong with her. he’s got marion anyway, doesn’t need a stuck up bitch who’s got no right to even be in the class. but boy oh boy, what a conquest it’d be. 

 

when francis looks at camilla, he’s honestly perplexed. he’s long gotten over the phase of pretending to appreciate the curves and lines of her mind and body as everyone else does, really he has. but that doesn’t stop his insatiable curiosity. she has _je ne sais quoi_ written in her pronounced cupid’s bow, her a-line skirts, and her haunted, husky voice, and francis is so intrigued that he commits himself to a promise – if he’s going to marry a girl, she would be the one. but when he looks at her carbon copy the bubble of his thoughts breaks and all he can think and all he can breathe is charles, charles, charles. 

 

when charles looks at camilla, he feels like he doesn’t even need a drink, that’s how intoxicating she is to him. as inhibited as he is in the class, in everywhere where there is anyone else, is how free he is when it’s just them. she is his mirror, his reflection, his other half, and he at once praises and curses God for making them this way. milly, he thinks, could do better, but he’ll kill the man before he proves that he is. 

 

when richard looks at camilla, he thinks in colors. the dark blonde of her hair is all at once the sand of california beaches and the khaki that is the east coast’s uniform. the ice blue of her eyes is nothing less than a perfect contradiction, inviting him into the cold to die. her lips, her unglossed pale pink lips are the dawn of each day and the hope that maybe, just maybe, she’ll look at him.

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first thing i've ever written, so feedback is appreciated :)


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